Big Black Bird

Not to long ago right in front of the house an oppossum was hit. These big black birds were feasting like it was the last supper. Oh I remember how grossed out I was to see this bird eating the smooshed decaying flesh from the road.
Just last week I was driving to work and glanced out to the right and there was this lone black bird. Almost majestic. Huge! I have never seen a bird that large. I can guess this species to be crows, but I won't flatter myself to think I am right without researching. My first thought was how intriguing he looked. So large with his shining black coat. My mind then wondered to the reason of why he was there to begin with. Waiting for roadkill. How lazy to sit and wait for someone or something else to kill his food and to sort through the aftermath.
It is on that day I wondered if I couldn't just give up meat all together. How lazy am I? I go to the butcher shop and I don't even sort through to find the good parts. How I wish I didn't love bacon.
~wink~

Mother, breath........

Recently, I've caught myself up in myself. I feel like I'm speaking in tongues even as I write this. I can not concentrate on the things I am doing and that have to be done at my job. A lot because I know it is ending, but I'm not taking the time to realize I'm letting it go.
I let it go a long time ago. I longed to be at home and taking care of my family. Halfway doing the caregiving on nights and weekends. Ultimately, becoming the caregiver and not the Mother. The blessing I was given by God. The blessing to be a Mother. Wow, when did I forget that was what I am? Mother is such a broad range of beings that it reminds me of Abraham Hicks being not just one but many.
Mothers are healers, teachers, comforters, and ultimately Love.
I read once in "Conversations with God" by Donald Walsh (even though I may not be quote with exactness) that there are two true emotions. Love and Fear. I feel as though as a Mother I may fear most definately for my child ultimately being a Mother is Love. How else can I describe this but Love, Love, Love. It rolls off of your tongue nicely as you mouth it and eventually allow your throat vocalize the word.
And now I remember to take a breath and not worry the Fears I've had in recent past as I am a Mother and I must teach, practice and heal through Love.
Starting with myself.
~Exhale~

Love,
Steph

My New Favorite place...

Normally I'd be a little more philisophycal, but today I really am just thankful for my public library. A few years back they rebuilt our public library and the childrens area is fantastic! I haven't been in any where I used to live, but I had almost completely forgotten how much I love the library.
I've always like the smell of the pages and quiet hum of people's minds learning and imagining. For me I could have the endless possibility of new ideas. I'd check out books and either love them or never go past the 3 chapter. I still loved it.
Solomon and I used to go and he love the sight word books. Actually I loved them for one reason and he another. It was an outting none-the-less.
The girls got to go this weekend! They loved it. Of course, Miss Ayden loved the computer time. I had to remind her more than once not to yell out. It was funny though. Solomon is really digging the fact we can get movies for FREE! Meredith was just impressed with the whole scene. They picked a few books, played on the computer and did puzzles. Ruby even got to rock in the big rocker with her Aunt while she dozed. Never thought of it, but the library is a good place for a sleeping baby. :)
Anyway, I just thought this to be the coolest weekend. How much better could it have been? Oh and I never mentioned the fact that the nice woman in the children's area helped us fix up Sissy's bo-boo she got in the parking lot!
The library, the park, cookout, the library, the park and picnic and Momma's burritos!
This morning was very nice to wake up knowing we had done so much and barely spent a penny.

~hugs~

These things I see.

I was having a conversation last night with a dear friend about trees and ideas about trees. Of course, I find myself more and more admiring and examining the trees on my drive to work.
Yes, I'm kind of a dork that way. :)
I ponder what triggered this new fascination of mine. I look around the house and see the branch that had fallen and then became our Valentine tree. Also, the Easter tree. Simply a branch in a vase, but the kids have truthfully enjoyed it.
There is a tree in the middle of a field that is standing alone with little to no vegetation that I can see from the road. It is a very interesting shape and is more visible on my way home. I catch myself looking for it everyday.
Ahhh, then I think of the pine cones that Meredith and I picked up as we walked to the van at a birthday party. We made those into bird feeders. That was super fun and even the Man of the house joined in. He made his and we both helped the girls finish theirs. They are now hung in the Dogwood that I see out of my kitchen window.
Today I decided I wanted to know more about the trees I have been watching change shape and color each season. One tree has these cool purple blooms. They are so bright I can't help myself. I have caught myself slowing down. I looked up the Native Kentucky Trees and found the name of it is a Red Bud. Of course, I've heard of it and have never put two and two together.
One cool fact and I am signing off. :) The Red Bud tree is also called Judas. Supposedly this is the tree Judas hung himself from after betraying Christ. The blooms were originally white. It is said the blooms are tinted pink from the blood of Judas.

With Love,

Steph

Randoms....

This morning my drive in to work was filled with my silly randoms. Things that caught my eye:

The Gospel Barn - this is the point in which I pictured myself sitting in one of those rocking chairs on the side porch. Still, not rocking, and allowing the sun to come over the hill and spread over me like a blanket.

The Llamma farm - The laid back Llammas kind of waving me on my journey. ~giggles~ I really thought of a Llamma saying, "peace, safe journey my friend".....

The sun as I exited the expressway - more a big blur of light that I could not gaze straight into as it warmed my face.

Things that caught my ear:

A news report quoting a woman on the floods in Boston - "Mother Nature, the Mother of all Mothers". No explanation needed I think.

Kimmet & Doug's version of Spirit of Radio - awesome acoustics!

Things that caught my mind:

~the Universe operates much more efficiently without a middle man interceding on your behalf. Abraham - Hicks~ - I am going to continue today on my journey making the choices in which make me happy.

~hugs~
Steph

Sleep, etc.

Last night as I fell asleep reading my book I was thinking of so many nights of sleeplessness before now. My friend who is struggling right now with this. The other people in my life who do not sleep. The city that does not sleep.... Okay I just got carried away. Point is where does it start and when does it end?
When I was just a baby, as told by stories from my parents, I was sick and there were many doze free nights for months. I wonder did this start my cycle of no sleep or my Mother's. As a small child I can remember the dreams I had waking me and the vividness would carry me to jump in Mom's bed. Then as a teenager worry and distraction. My turn as a Mother. Then the vivid dreams more often.
I tried always to rationalize the reasons for it. I came to a place of realization of positive thinking. This understanding and life change came about only after a friend recommended "Conversations with God" by Donald Walsh to me. It was my first step into recognizing I am not alone and my feelings on life in general were validated. I hermitted for a while. Not too many family gatherings and no friends to really say I'd hang out with or talk to on a daily basis. My simple un-cluttered life (for a short period) proved effective.
I watched my Mom one night as I stayed with her a few years ago. Up and down and up and down all night. The dogs move too much in the bed, put them in the cage, get them out of the cage, let them out to pee, I have to pee, I'm hot, I'm cold. Are my kids well? Etc. and so forth. It really makes me wonder is there a cure for this other than letting go? Mediation and focus.
I am currently reading more on the Laws of attraction according to Abraham and even scientifically it makes sense. Opposites attract. How can one desire (the desire to sleep in this case) happen if we pair it with the same amount of focus on the not happening of that desire.
Sleep was just a focal point as an example for me today. I am going to try this opposites attract theory in my daily life for a little while and see how that works for me. :) As I had in earlier years only allowing the positive to penetrate my life and redirecting the negative. This is another new beginning I am happy to start the journey. Join me if you like. :)
~hugs~
Steph

Peace

I woke this morning in a state of mind in which I know that I will control my own destiny. I have known this for so long and tend to forget every so often. After a weekend of breadmaking, sewing, playing and all out in out trying to allow myself the freedom to get back to who I am. It was Sunday that I discovered a book at the library that I am having a hard time putting down. "Ask and it is given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks (The teachings of Abraham).It has reaffirmed, thus far, so many thoughts that are true to my being. I am joyous while reading and there after.
This morning was my first morning I can say that my mediatation was more than what it has ever been before.

This is my affirmation today: I will find peace, embrace peace and rejoice in it. Peace... Peace... Peace...

"I will observe what surrounds me, and my response to what I observe will cause my own vaulable personal preferences to be born".
Abraham-Hicks

<3 Steph